BATTLE GOLF
COMPANY
- MICROSOFT
STREET PRICE
-69.99
RATING
- 5 Bloody Swords

BATTLE GOLF

With the growing popularity of golf these days we are seeing a plethora of golf games on the market. While EASports' Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2000 and Sierra Sports' PGA Championship Golf 2000 are great, these games are primarily targeted to an older crowd. Second quarter sales show great increases in the 34-52 year old demographic. However, sales to the 8-18 and 19-33 year old demographic are sluggish at best. I pose the question, 'How do we get the kids into golf?' Easy. Mix it with tons of action and violence.

Thanks to the developers at Uncle Bill's company, Microsoft, we now have Battle Golf. Battle Golf features the best qualities of today's golf game with the addition of hole-to-hole combat.

As a golf game you start with a limited amount of money. You must purchase the type of clubs you use, a caddy, and a golf cart. On the training course you can build up your golfing skills and expand your finances with endorsement deals.

The fun doesn't begin and end with driving the ball or putting though. Getting from one lay to the next is a major achievement. Walking from one shot to the next places you in grave danger. You can be accosted by raging fans, street thugs, and fully armed anti-American terrorists to name a few situations. At the sandtraps you need to be wary of quicksand and poisonous vipers. Putt into the rough and you may have your cart sabotaged by Earth First! monkey wrenchers. Near the water traps you may be attacked by sea monsters, ruffians, scalawag, and Vikings. On the higher levels one may encounter 'Jaws', 'Swamp Thing' and the campy yet deadly 'Pirates of the Caribbean'. Normally I would frown upon such blatant commercial crossovers but it works well with the gonzo, anything goes style of Battle Golf.

Once you've finished the hole it is off to the next in your cart which can be customized to have armor plating, nitro boosts, and antiaircraft missles. You also need to watch out for bandits, aircraft and yes, even spacecraft.

Though the ability to expand and upgrade belongings and skills is limited, the gurus at Microsoft have promised me that there are expansion packs on the horizon. Some of the features of the expansion pack feature in-depth customization of weapons and golf carts, the ability to achieve higher levels in hand-to-hand combat, and people of color. Coming this Christmas look for the addition of multiple courses (planned course expansions include the Pebble Beach Suburban Golf Assault and the Famous Battles of Freeway Minature Golf).

What more could anyone ask for in a sports game but lots of blood, killing, and destruction? 5 Bloody Swords

System Requirements: 550 MHz or faster Pentium III Microsoft Windows 95 or 98 256 MB RAM 1.4 GB hard disk space

 

RONALD REAGAN'S GRENADA INVASION
COMPANY
- BTS
STREET PRICE
-39.99
RATING
- 1/2 Bloody Sword

RONALD REAGAN'S GRENADA INVASION

Come on! You have to be kidding! I love strategy games, but this is ridiculous. To think anyone would waste his or her time programming a game for a military action that lasted for less than a week is beyond me. What's next, George Bush's Rock and Roll Siege of Noriega? Bill Clinton: Look, I Can Bomb Iraq To?
OK, enough of my ranting

Ronald Reagan's Grenada Invasion( also known as 'Operation Urgent Flying Fists of Fury' by military history buffs) is pretty basic and the strategy is just not there, at least not militarily. The main military goal is to secure the island from Deputy Prime Minister Bernard Coard (a devout hard-line Marxist) who had just overthrown Prime Minister Maurice Bishop (a devout but not-so-hard-lined Marxist) over creative differences. To mix things up you also need to play nanny to about 1,000 U.S. medical students. Unfortunately, this isn't too difficult. As the American army your resources are endless...B-2 Bombers, F-16 Fighters, nuclear submarines, aircraft carriers, nerve gas, flame throwers, napalm, land mines and 1,200 nuclear warheads. Oh, and 1,000,000 soldiers.

Politically, though, the goals are more complicated. As Commander in Chief you must mitigate the nation's grief over the deaths of 241 Marines in Beirut, Lebanon on October 23 just two days earlier, secure congressional approval for your flawed "Star Wars" missile defense plan, restore American pride with the fist decisive military victory since W.W.II, and demonstrate to the people of Central and South American the willingness of the U.S. to use deadly force to shape a nation's destiny. Unfortunately, the programmers of Ronald Reagan's Grenada Invasion pay little attention to these game aspects and instead focuses on the rather dull and simplistic military invasion.

The one saving grace is the option to play either side in the war. As the Grenadan rebels you are only given a hundred men, two tanks, one antiaircraft gun, and 95 poorly trained rebels which provides a brief challenge before total annihilation. My only enjoyment was killing all the college students and watching the U.S. military bomb the hell out of the island. Ronald Reagan's Grenada Invasion is the "Pong" of all military strategy games. If there is a game that takes the "Golden Sucks" award this is it.
1/2 bloody sword

System Requirements Pentium 200 MMX Windows 95, 98, or NT 64 MB RAM 100 MB hard disk space PCI local bus video card CD-ROM drive Windows 95 compatible sound card TCP/IP (for Internet play)

 

What it all means...The Pctyrant Bloody Sword Rating System

  = Don't even put it on your computer or waste your time

  = Play it on a friends computer...don't laod it on yours

  = Wait for a friend to buy it then burn a copy for yourself

  = Definetely buy it but wait for a good sale

  = Get it NOW, pay full price

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