At PCtyrant we never tire of the relentless ad hominem attacks, techno-weenie nitpicking and rambling sentence structure of our "readers' feedback" section. Of course, if you have something nice or coherent to say that would also be appreciated. Send all letters to the editor to mailto:reeedersfeedback@pctyrant.com



Dear Sirs,

My name is Dwayne Patterson. I am a senior Attorney with Goldman, Altman and Smith. Recently my daughter Allison, on the advice of your little rag, purchased the I-Schick 1.0 internet ready razor. You clearly stated that, "it memorizes your follicle patters". This would be fine for grown women. However, for young girls caught up in the hormonal hurricane that is puberty, it is a dangerous tool of butchery and mayhem. My dear little Allison had to be rushed to UCLA medical center to have her left leg reattached below the shin. The bills total in the hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Please be advised that my firm will be bringing a suit against your publication. You will be sued for gross negligence, pain and suffering, and some other stuff we haven't figured out yet. To avoid all this ugliness, you could send us a check for $23,000,000. We accept PayPal.

Sincerely,

Dwaynepatterson@mymail.com

Editors Reply: We have no money...really, absolutely none. Now go away.


Dear Tyrant,

My name is Matt Frank. I live in Fredrick, Maryland. I have been a big fan of your e-zine since your second issue. I think you guys are the best. I am majoring in computer science at my local junior college. I am very adept at all things technical and I feel that I also have a good grasp on the English language. I was wondering if I could become a contributing reporter for PCTyrant.com? I really think I have what it takes.

For instance, I know that a petabyte is bigger than a gigabyte. I don't think that the rest of your staff has this sort of knowledge. I emailed a few of them, and I don't think they even work with computers. That Steve Schultz guy you have is really insulting. He kept calling me "kid" and then asked me if I had any weird body part fetishes. And, that Jonny Lieberman guy wrote back and asked me if I had a younger sister. You should talk to him.

I think that my with my natural computer savvy and technical no how, I can really help to make PCTyrant.com the website out there. I am looking for a starting salary around $35,000 and am willing to travel. Also, what is your per-diem policy? Do you pay benefits?

Looking forward to your reply and also to working together,

Matt Frank
mfrank@coolmail.net

Editors reply: Pctyrant is an all volunteer effort. No one is paid. The advantage is that since you are not paid, you're not an employee. This non employee status gives the contributors a tremendous amount of freedom...like calling someone
"kid", refering to someone's body part fetishes, and asking about a readers "sister". As the editor I can only watch these disgusting and unprofessional antics and sigh. Sorry but my hands are tied.


What the hell are you guys talking about?

I recently read your 'Al Gore De-Invents the Internet' piece and was very confused. Mostly confused due to the fact that I was reading it on the very Internet that Mr. Gore had supposedly "De-Invented". I think you are pulling my leg. My husband says that you are a bunch or right wing extremists intent on further tarnishing poor Mr. Gore's reputation. I tend to agree. Get your stuff together, gentlemen.

Irene Marlow
Stoney Brooke, DW


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