At PCtyrant we never tire of the relentless ad hominem attacks, techno-weenie nitpicking and rambling sentence structure of our "readers' feedback" section. Of course, if you have something nice or coherent to say that would also be appreciated. Send all letters to the editor to

Hey man, I downloaded the Keybonic Freeware program to increase my typing speed to 500 words per minute as promised but when I use the program it just types nonsense. Keybonic notepad is a pile of crap.

Jessey Wades - Kenosha, WI

Bill Basle, Head Technologist at Neural Systems Inc. responds: "The keybonic notepad works exactly as it was designed. Any inconsistencies in spelling, grammar or syntax is the result of poor user concentration. Next time, try working without the stereo playing or other external distractions and I'm sure your results will improve."

Editor's Response: Relax Jessey, save your indignation for something you actually paid for.

Dear Pctyrant, your pussy magazine sucks dick. You'll never be as good as Maximum PC you limp dick retards. Who the fuck do you think you are?

Rachel Williams - Professor of Applied Linguistics Boston University

Editor's Response: Blow me fuck face.

I was totally impressed by your article that exposes Bill Gates' plan to add an umlaut to the Microsoft name in an attempt to avoid the federal lawsuit in the August issue. The national press has been totally silent on this issue and I can't thank you enough for breaking the story. On a similar note I've heard rumors that Apple Computers is attempting to copyright the names of every apple variety known to man in attempt to completely destroyed the apple growers market. Ginger Gold, Golden Delicious, Crispin, Red Delicious and Cortland are just some of the varieties that are being targeted. I hear Steve Jobs' plan is to completely change the public consciousness so people no longer think of an apple as something crispy and juicy to eat but as a home computer. Is this rumor true?

Bobby Vernon - Sonoma, CA

Editor's reply: Probably not.

Dude, when are you going to start having hot pictures of chicks and stuff. You should check out Maxim it's got totally hot chicks and stuff. I mean, this is a computer magazine and computers are for guys right?... so start putting in guy stuff. Like put stuff in that guys like dude.

Johnny - Augusta, GA

Editors Reply: This is all we had around the office.
Not a chick, but it is hot!

Can I watch movies on my Palm Pilot?

Jessica Martinez - Los Angeles, CA

Editor's Reply: Great question...check out this issue's "Ask the Expert" for the answer.



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